Struggles in Parenting

This morning after our last MOPS meeting:( we were crossing the parking lot of the church and Gloria was staying behind for some reason. A car pulled out and was waiting for Gloria to come join us. I told Gloria to come and she would not come. I finally went back to her and took her hand. I could tell this was defiance and not a fear of crossing the street, so I told her she would get a spanking when we got home. We went to the library and to the car-repair place first and several times she reminded me that I had promised her a spanking by asking if I would not spank her at home. When we did get home, I had to take Benaiah gingerly up to bed because he had fallen asleep in the car. Gloria immediately went to her bed and told me she didn't want a spanking. I think she knew that if she got into bed and was next door to a sleeping Benaiah that I wouldn't spank her...her cries are loud enough to awaken a quite sleepy baby. I told her that she would still get a spanking either when she finally decided to come downstairs or when Benaiah wakes up - a good deterrent to both come downstairs or awaken Benaiah. "But I don't want a spanking. Can you have 'moocey' on me Mommy.?" This makes me want to right away say "okay, I'll have mercy on you, honey." However, I explained the dangers of not obeying me in the parking lot or in the street and that was why I still had to punish her. She said "okay, Mom" and rolled over on her bed, sucked her fingers, and closed her eyes. I know it may be only the beginning of difficult lessons in life, but Max and I are trying to start them off on the right foot (and keep them safe!). Every day I need patience with the kids and also resolve to follow through so that they can learn to obey God when they are unleashed into the big, bad world. I sure don't look forward to giving her a spanking, but I sure do love her and don't want to lose her in a street, a parking lot, or anywhere!