Saturday, January 19, 2013

His Goodness in the Midst of Uncertainty

(Here we go with my "New Year's Resolution" made about 2 months ago.  I'm starting it on Jan 18 at 10:30pm when I really should be in bed.  Better late than never, right?  BTW, resolution - writing on my blog and not just posting to Facebook.)

My honey made it home for 9 days after not seeing him for six-and-a-half-months.  You wouldn't believe how excited I was on the day of his arrival.  His flight was not making it in until early afternoon, so I had things to occupy my time in the morning, such as homeschooling, cleaning, and going for a run...all of those breathless with the thought of seeing and touching my husband again.  I seriously could not breathe running up the mountain I had ran up countless times in the past 4 months...and no, it was not as much altitude as it was unbearable excitement over my husband coming home if only for 9 days.  The longest we had been apart in the past was 3-4 months and that was right after Sept 11 of 2001 when he was gone for an "undetermined period of time."  Both times I have landed with kid(s) in Colorado.  I just can't stay away from this place...especially with the beauty, the wonderful weather (I love seasons, and unexpected temperate, beautiful days in each one!), and most of all, loving family whom I don't know what I would do without.  I don't think I would have hair left if it wasn't for Max's parents and also loving friends and other family that surround the kids and me.

The visit was sleep deprived, due to Max's 10-hour time change, but oh so worth it!  It's also been worth the heartache of having to say goodbye again.  I'm so thankful that he got to visit home (he makes sure I know that his deployed location is not "home" for him, so I'm not sure I could say he was "visiting" home), and that it is not (Lord willing) going to be six-and-a-half-months before we see him again.  The last night he was home, we finally both got a full night's sleep, having adjusted to the time change for Max, and me adjusted to having him back home - believe it or not going from sleeping alone to sleeping with someone in the bed is a big change that sometimes causes...not sleeping...at least not like before.  I am so looking forward to being adjusted for the both of us when he returns "for good" (good, no...great, it shall be!) and living together almost every day, not  feeling like he's half way across the world, which he is, and not feeling like it's so temporary (which our stay on this earth is anyway).

God made us capable of dreams and desires.  Max and I both agreed that this house feels so much like home, so like "us".  Beautiful views from all sides, having remodeled it according to our tastes, plenty of space inside and outside.  Our dream is to live here, together, as a family.



However, we have been through this before.  We have our dreams of what would be "ideal" or "wonderful". God has brought us in other directions as a couple and as a family we never could have dreamed or imagined and looking back, although some aspects still mysterious, we say "oooohhhh...that's why He had us there".

Even though we pray for Colorado for our next assignment because that is our desire, we both know that God could have something bigger and better in store...both for His Kingdom purposes and for us.  I truly can say "Your will be done" and mean it.  I think eight moves and having to place the location and assignment plans in His ever-capable hands so many times, has helped bring about the peace that comes from remembering...remembering that He has a plan, He is in control, He is faithful, He will never abandon us, and He, God Almighty is GOOD.